Unless your children are very young indeed, the passing of a loved one will be a significant event for them, for sudden absence of someone who has been a figure in their life will not go unnoticed.
Like sex and money, death is a reality of life that you parents will have to talk to their children about and the one that everyone has to contend with sooner or later. It can seem tempting to shield youngsters from this harsh reality, but it actually makes more sense for you to talk to them about it, especially before funerals.
The right approach is to start with the fact that kids absorb information like sponges when they are very young and will process things better than you might think.
Therefore you should be clear and upfront, without euphemisms and with clear explanations. Explain why it is that people die and how it happened in this case. Be ready for them to ask questions in return.
While death is sometimes a taboo subject, remember that one level death is something kids soon get used to, even when they see dead insects or a flat hedgehog in the road. So you can be absolutely honest about what it is, not least the reality that they won’t see that person again.
This is turn an allow you to deal better with the other elements of the situation. By being open with facts, you can also deal with emotions, making it clear it’s OK to be sad. You should also help them understand that grieving is a part of the process.
All this can help you if you are planning a funeral for a loved one, as you can help younger members of the family be prepared for the event itself. By talking through everything that’s going to happen beforehand, you can prepare them for everything that will happen on the day.
Of course, while funerals can bring tears, there can be smiles too, a chance to share happy memories and celebrate a life. By helping kids understand death better, the day of the funeral won’t be so overwhelming for them and they can appreciate it as an important life event.